If ever there were a woman that walked hand in hand with my version of motherhood, it's Anna Reed.  Like, I was going to take this little survey myself, but Anna's answers match mine so identically that I think I'm just going to leave it here with her. Anna is the 5 pound mother of FOUR boys, all close together, all oozing personality. Anna and I have a really weird friendship, as it consists mostly of texts and instagram likes, but I think it's just the season of life we're in. We're raising kids and eating little debbie treats after bedtime and laughing at sitcoms we watched before hurricane Motherhood took us out. Most of our conversations begin with "Tell me I'm not a bad Mom for *insert scenario*" or "I'm in bathtub eating Noosa and drinking wine." This text was completely made up and never actually sent. *cough* I love Anna, because I can text her and say "My kids are bringing out my inner psychopath today." and she responds with a GIF or a witty remark that makes me exhale and trudge on. I love Anna because she understands the trenches. She understands the occasional longing for a time when my time was my own. She understands that this season is beautiful, but sometimes you just want to explode internally and run away to clear waters and fruity drinks. She knows that sometimes, your kids are just turds. There's no deeper meaning, there's no opportunity to teach them the better choices... you just pat their heads and tuck them in. You start again tomorrow. I love Anna, because our focus is raising our kids today, believing that the way we respond will make them funny and witty. That sometimes our "kid friendly" cuss words actually end up being pronounced as real cuss words. This really happened to me. I love Anna because she knows that the grace of Jesus covers a multitude of sins, including the ones we make as Moms. Feeling inadequate is such a lie from the pit of hell. We talk ourselves into this horrible state of believing that our kids are being robbed of the mother they deserve, when Jesus has given us everything we need for today. THIS DAY. Today is the motherhood I'm focused on mastering, and He has blessed us with Little Debbie and Ben and Jerry to carry us through the dark days. Anna, I love you. I love that when you say "Solidarity, Sister" you are referencing both our battle cry and Gilmore Girls. Thank you for these amazing words that hit me right where I needed to hear them. I love your boys, and I am currently making a Pinterest board for Boone and Ella's wedding. They just fit. Check out Anna's motherhood!

What is your motherhood mantra?

His grace covers it all. Also, it's okay to watch 'too much' TV & eat lots of ice cream. Also, PRAISE THE LORD for ice cream. 

I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom. 

What is the best advice you could give a first time mom?

As a WOH, part-time homeschooling, mom of 4: it's okay to do your own thing. Figure out what works for your family & don't worry if it looks different. Everyone and their Grandma (& probably your own Grandma) will tell how to do the things - but they aren't your kid's Momma. God chose YOU for those babies & He will equip you. Don't be afraid to try something new. Ask for help. Have alone/quiet time. (I don't mean a Bible study, you should do that too, but you can read your Bible with your kids climbing all over you. Take a few minutes daily/weekly, whatever you can carve out, to do what YOU like: workout, or cook without 'helpers', or watch Real Housewives in your bathrobe, whatever makes you holla honey boo boo. And don't feel guilty about it. There is no such thing as too many baby snuggles, but it's also okay to put your baby down to dust or shower - sanity in motherhood is a plus. RELAX! Everything is going to be fine. Say yes to your kids more (but not always); Yes, you can build a fort with every pillow in the house; Yes, you can get play-do all over my kitchen table; Yes, you can stir the mac & cheese; Yes, you can have Cheetos when you finish your dessert; Yes you can pick out your own clothes even when we go in public; No, don't do headstands on the toilet. Everything in moderation. Lastly, do yourself a favor & teach them to like what you like, our kids are connoisseurs of 1980's & 90's movies & cartoons and I have never felt like I was missing out on Bubble Guppies. 

What's the most annoying advice you've received?

A few days before my induction date for Topher (firstborn), I ran in to the father of an acquaintance at Hobby Lobby who happens to work in the (non-OBGYN) medical field, and upon hearing our plans to induce proceeded to tell me all the horrors of Pitocin & epidurals, including but not limited to "If you get induced you will rip more!" Cool bruh, thanks for that terrifying visual. For the record, he was wrong so how bow dah. #epiduralisagiftfromtheLORD

What  is your favorite thing about your kids?

Besides that they are all too adorable for words & have the best hair in the land, I LOVE how they love each other. They are all best buds & it melts my heart every single day. I love the sound of their laughter. I love how they talk, like how they pronounce certain words & use grown up vocabulary. I love their freckles & birth marks. I love how creative and clever they are. They are independent and have great taste in music. I have to apologize to them often and they shower me with grace every single time. They are unbelievably generous with compliments too: "You are the best Mommy of all the Mommies in the whole world." "You is the prettiest gurl." "Mom is SO nice!" "I wuv yous chubby cheeks!" I don't deserve them and they inspire me to be better & gentler.  

What's one thing you wish you could tell the "newborn mom" version of yourself?

You are doing a good job, but be humble, this is the easy part. Life only gets better from here- rejoice, enjoy, soak up the present! You can do tough things. Chin up buttercup- parenting gets harder as the kids get older but the rewards get sweeter too. Read more. Hug your Grandma. Have fun! Not everything has to be serious & educational & extra spiritual, His grace is big enough to cover the all things you will miss or forget. 

I didn't take this photo, but I love it! Thanks Anna. You're my best text friend. 

Solidarity, Sister: Jessi

Jessica. Oh, Jessica. Jessi was one of my very first really good friends on this side of adulthood. There's a fine line between "young adult" friends and "We are getting old and things that used to be really fun just make me cranky now." She probably wouldn't word it this way... but it's the simplest variation I could think of. She and Jake were literally the only friends who weren't scared of our house in Odessa, and spent many a night at our table, eating Five Guys and talking about anything and everything. We used to have evening services at Stonegate, and it became a bit of a tradition to eat together at the Rosa's between Midland and Odessa each week. After the birth of each of our kids, Jake and Jess were at the front lines of the food deliveries, always thrilled to hold our babies and they always brought their own food to stay and hang out with us. Jess is 100% of the reason we live in Midland, as she sat down with Cody and tag teamed Jake on all of the reasons Midland was worth selling our house. We were at their house when ours finally sold, and we jumped and screamed and rejoiced together before we all chose a collective couch and napped. More recently, a newly pregnant Jessi and I sat together at a Coldplay concert, torn between feeling sorry for the drunk girl in front of us and videoing it to send into Ellen. I technically didn't know Jessi was pregnant that night, but watching her almost cry over Jake being unwilling to wait in a 3 hour line for Nachos was a pretty big indicator. She's raising two of the cutest little boys on the planet, and Hudson (her oldest) and Adam are growing up together in the same classes. It's going to be so sweet to watch their friendship blossom into a friendship like Jake and Cody share. And to also call each other back and forth on weekends to say "Is mine at your house?" They don't get a choice. They have to be best friends. All of this rambling I'm doing is rolling into one collective thought. Jessi is one the funniest, most creative, monogram loving, lover of all things southern, loyal people I know. I can go weeks or months (when one of us has a newborn) without talking to her, but when we do reconnect, it's like I've never gone a day without seeing the other. Those are the friendships you fight for. Also, anybody that can have an entire conversation with you using "The Office" or "New Girl" quotes only is somebody that you never let go of. Check out Jessi's view on #momlife. 

What is your motherhood mantra?

 Ummmm. (That's not it, I'm just thinking.) 

*I never actually got an answer for this. But hey, it could be something you relate to. 

What is the best advice you could give a first time mom?

Do what works for you. Don't be intimidated by Facebook or Instagram or Pinterest. Pray for wisdom to make the decisions that are right for your family. 

What's the most annoying advice you've received? 

Don't do CrossFit while you're pregnant. #alltheeyerolls 🙄

What is your favorite thing about your kids? 

Physically, Hudson's curly hair. And both our boys have these long beautiful eyelashes. Hatcher is pretty new, but I love Hudson's adventurous personality. It also gives me an anxiety attack several times a day. He loves to climb and has no sense of fear. I'm excited to see how it will manifest later. And I'm slightly scared. 

What's one thing you wish you could the "newborn mom" version of yourself? 

It goes by fast. Take lots of pictures and videos, and make sure you're in some. Take the help when people offer. I know a lot of people always say "Leave the laundry and the dishes. They can wait." Well, that stresses me out. So, I'll take some help to get those things done! Want to come hold my baby so I can do some laundry and take a shower? Yes, please!

*I feel like she meant to say "Have Kaylea do your Fresh 48s because they're the best."

Jake and Jessi are kind of entrepreneurs, and have all kinds of side businesses. Visit HERE for Jessi's Monogram shop or HERE for Jake's fitness line. I love you Russos! Thanks for being our friends, even when we lived in Odessa. 

Solidarity, Sister: Raegan

You know when a problem pops up in your life, and you want to talk to somebody about it, but you don't want to hear the wise, mature answer? You just want to sit on your friend's couch to freely mope, pout and gossip? You know what I'm talking about... you don't need biblical references or wisdom. You don't need to be put back in your place. You don't need to become more aware of the role you played in the problem. All you want is your ego stroked. Well... Raegan is not the somebody you call. If you're looking for a pity party, you don't go to Raegan's house. If you seek real, honest truths, accompanied by scripture to back it up, and words dripping in wisdom (literally, she spits like a camel), then you call Raegan. I don't call Raegan very often. THIS IS A JOKE. She's usually the first person I call when I'm fuming about something. We became friends about four years ago when our husbands joined the staff at Stonegate Fellowship. We bonded quickly, as we were both the new kids on the block that laughed at fart jokes and shared a mutual love for chai tea.  There are a lot of examples that I could give you about why I love her so deeply, but frankly, most of them make me weepy and I'm just not in the mood for that today. She and her husband Josh have blessed us time and time again over the course of our five year friendship, in every way imaginable. We love to laugh with them, and some of my very favorite memories with Raegan involved driving down some tollway in Dallas, laughing and gasping for air over things that probably weren't even that funny. She's the one I call when something is hard to understand. She's the one I call when my life doesn't make sense. And it always seems that when I find myself reaching down into the pity pit, the phone rings with a hysterical picture of her in one of her Halloween costumes. "What's goin' on?" she says before I even finish hello. She's the type of friend that you need. The type of friend that pushes you toward Jesus, and the friend that will make you laugh on the way. I'm so thankful for you, RaeRae! Check out her take on motherhood! 

What is your motherhood mantra?

1.Treat your family better than you treat anyone else all the time. 

2. Happiness comes when you choose to search for reasons to be thankful.

 *I think I was supposed to pick between the two, but I couldn't, so you get a twofer! Yay Wise Raegan!

What is the best advice you could give a first time mom?

1. Always share God's word with your baby and continue as they grow. Gods word doesn't return void. Isaiah 55:11

2. Put your children to bed early and in their own bed so you can recharge your relationship with your spouse. 

*see above. Yay wise Raegan!

What's the most annoying advice you've received? 

I can't remember any annoying advice... So here's the best advice I received: Your children are some of the greatest in God's kingdom, so treat them like it. Speak to them the way you want them to speak to you. 

What is your favorite thing about your kids?

My favorite thing about Millie is her thoughtfulness and sense of humor. Favorite thing about Guy is his zeal for God and his affection toward me. 

What's one thing you wish you could the "newborn mom" version of yourself?

I would tell myself to love my children where they are and accept them for who they are instead of what I think they should be.

I didn't take this picture, but it makes me laugh every time. I love you Raegan, and I love the way you embrace every ounce of what this life has to offer. I'm blessed by your wisdom and your friendship!

Solidarity, Sister: Bailey

Bails. Oh, Bails. I've been trying all day to describe our friendship. This makes it sound like a bad thing, but the best possible example I can come up with involves devils, and that's already making me laugh. But oh well, it's my blog, right?! You know in old cartoons (or in Emperor's New Groove, the best and most important cartoon of all,) there was a sequence with a devil and an angel resting on the shoulder's of someone trying to make a major decision? Consider Bailey the angel, and Kaylea the devil. We are both witty and hysterical, but she tends to stay on the good side, while I flirt with danger. By danger, I mean I'll ask a stranger at a Coldplay concert for advil and take it without considering that it might actually be something illegal. I'm glass half empty, she's glass half full. I'm worst case scenario, she's very "Let's see how this could work positively in our favor." She may not be this way with everyone, but she's this way with me. She knew about both of my babies within hours of the positive test, and text me so often with words of encouragement when I was so sure that something terrible was going to happen to my fetuses. She brought us dinners after we had our babies. And if you know Bailey at all, you know it's not weird to get a text that says "Look on your porch! :)" and opening your door to find just the right gift at just the right time. She once brought me a Smoothie and a Rosa's gift card when I was 9 months pregnant. Cody had been up with the stomach flu and I was up with contractions all night. We ran into each other in the HEB parking lot when I was stocking up on ginger ale and gatorade, and I cried into her window, because I just knew that I was going to have the baby that afternoon and Cody wouldn't be able to be there. Twenty minutes later, the smoothie and the gift card had me in tears in the entryway. She's sensitive to people's needs, she's just about the best hostess I know, and gentle is the actual best descriptive word I have. She counteracts me in so many ways, but I'm so thankful for it. I can call (okay fine, Voxer) her and say "What side of this am I not seeing?" and she always has the answer. Anyway, this feels like the world's longest introduction, so I'm just going to pass the text to Bails, to let her describe her version of motherhood with you...

What is your motherhood mantra?

Love the mundane. On most days, mothering is a big bag of normal. I try to recognize the moments that make my heart leap and sing with tenderness and gratitude and ask the Lord to help me tuck those moments away in my heart. I still think about a time when I was sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery for a night time feeding- the quiet and stillness washing over me and the baby... being so exhausted I wanted to cry... but I also wanted to remember. To remember her face and her wispy, soft hair and the sound of the rhythm of the rocking chair. I begged the Lord to help me not ever forget... and I haven't. The magnificent mundane... such beautiful grace that brings about gratitude on darker days. 

What is the best advice you could give a first time mom?

Find your tribe... be in community... beg the Lord for a best friend if you don't already have one. Friendships are Biblical and this request is not too difficult for the Lord. When my oldest was a newborn we didn't have good friends in town. I felt so lonely. We needed people and so we began to ask the Lord to help us make friends and to bring us people! He gave in abundance and brought the most precious and life giving tribe to us! Our framily is so special! Community takes work- get your hands dirty and be blessed by the fruit. 

What's the most annoying advice you've received? 

"It all goes by so fast!" I hate this phrase and although I know it to be true, it's not helpful when my babies have been up most of the night or when I haven't folded laundry and it's laying in piles in my living room. Sometimes we just need a hug and a listening ear and to know that we aren't crazy and that being a Mommy is hard. I wonder if this is advice someone gives when they really mean, "I miss being a Mommy." At some point when we least expect it, our kids grow and we turn into, "Mom" and that's all together different, isn't it? "It goes so fast" is something to ponder but not to say out loud to a Mommy who has spit up crusted on her shirt and black circles under her eyes. Hug her and buy her coffee! 

What is your favorite thing about your kids?

I love that my children are so different from each other! So different. These personality differences are becoming one of the greatest delights of my life. 

What's one thing you wish you could tell the "newborn mom" version of yourself? 

Search for grace... mainly for yourself. In every cup of coffee with cream, in every hum of the washing machine. Receive the gift of help from your friends, take more bubble baths and buy yourself more flowers. The Lord gave you these children on purpose and He chose YOU - on purpose- to be their Mommy. There is no one more suited or more called to love your children than you. So grace... not perfection... you are learning too.

PS Bailey made me take her family photos IN THEIR HOUSE, which I hated at the time, but it was super relaxed and her girls showed me every ounce of personality they could muster. One of these days, I'll get them outside... but my heart still smiles when I see those self-portraits. Thanks for your thoughts, Bails!

Solidarity, Sister: Christy

Christy and I became unlikely friends about a year ago. It started when our sons were born on the same day 2 years ago, when we had the same doctor and raced to deliver first. I won, but only because mine was pre-scheduled and didn't involve pushing 10 pounds out of my secret garden. We cry and roll with the punches together, taking turns talking the other off of the ledge. She shrugs most of the "big things" in life off, and knows when she's in over her head for everything else. She dishes and receives sarcasm like it's her love language, and we don't care what you say about sarcasm not being a blessing from the Lord. Check out the way Christy handles motherhood! 

What is your motherhood mantra?

I have no idea. Probably "it's not that big of a deal." Relax and take time to gain perspective. 

What is the best advice you could give a first time mom? 

Find what works best for you & stick to it. Ask around, read articles, but be flexible to find your own routine. 

What's the most annoying advice you've received? 

Anything a total stranger thought it was their business to tell me. 

What is your favorite thing about your kids?

Watching their personalities develop. They are all so different from each other. I love Katelynn's creativity & wisdom, Julia's free spirit & kind heart, Michael is a natural performer & go getter and Tyler is a super laid back milk junkie.  

What's one thing you wish you could tell the "newborn mom" version of yourself? 

Don't be selfish. Life isn't all about you anymore. The sooner you embrace this truth the sooner life will be amazing. Be fully present & enjoy each phase because time goes by so fast.  

Christy, I love you and your grit. And your gusto. And your willingness to hunker down and weather the storm. For owning your circus and your monkeys. I admire it now and forever. 

Solidarity, Sister: Kendal

I had this idea to post a series of photos that I've done with kids not cooperating, and the responses to a questionnaire that I sent to a few of my clients. As the responses started pouring in, I realized that this wasn't a one blog situation. This was a heart cry to mothers every where. I loved it. I couldn't narrow it down, so each person is getting their own blog! Unless they have specifically requested to remain anonymous, in which there will be one blog of mystery. 

We begin with Kendal. I don't know all of the specifics here, but I do know that her oldest daughter is four and her youngest daughter is already one. YOU DO THAT MATH. When we tried a family session, her toddlers behaved like toddlers. We were both exhausted at the end of it, but even in chaos, those little personalities shined through their session and we landed with some shots that perfectly represent this season. Check out Kendal's answers below! 

What is your motherhood mantra?

Choose Joy!

What is the best advice you could give a first time mom?

Allow the truths of scripture to define our way of thinking, and not truisms from the world.

What's the most annoying advice you've received? 

I'm not sure! I typically take whatever has been said and sift it through the word of truth... Taking with me any nuggets that remain. 

What is your favorite thing about your kids?

Every. Single. Thing. I love the way they love you... they have such grace in the midst of your imperfections... 

What's one thing you wish you could tell the "newborn mom" version of yourself? 

I would remind myself that the opportunities to bless my children are most often present when i least feel like it... this is why i must not depend on my emotions to dictate my actions. I must be obedient and discipline my emotions to fall in line with God's word. I am to love my children, and raise them in the nurture and admonition of the lord! All. The. Time.

Let's all collectively ignore how Kendal looks like she's babysitting with her fabulous crossfit bod. Let's not think about how she had 3 kids in 4 years and has no arm fat to show for it. Everything is fine. 

Thanks for your thoughts, Kendal! I love your girls and I love the way you choose grace!