Okay fine, she said "Hi, are you available?" And thus began the wait. Three long months passed before the text finally arrived that said "I'm at a 3!" I settled back into my couch with my coffee, planning to head to the hospital a few hours later. Literally 45 minutes later, another text popped up. "Hey girl, I'm at a 7." I threw on all necessary clothing, threw my hair in a bun and ran out the door. I hyperventilated for most of the drive, because a thirty minute drive feels like hours when you're pressed for time. As I pulled into the parking lot, one last text read "Are you close, I'm feeling some pressure..." "I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN!!!' I screamed internally, knowing that I was going to miss the birth by seconds. I ran across the parking lot, cussed the elevator, ran through the halls, and burst into the room. A quiet, peaceful, dimly lit room met my out of breath mess.
"Hey, do we need syrup?" Tiffany said.
"We're not making pancakes." replied a sleepy voice from the sofa.
"It's going to be Christmas morning! We're having pancakes!"
"Do you know you're having a baby right now? NO PANCAKES."
"Fine I'll just get some anyway."
And that's when I knew I was in with good people.
Apparently my prayers for everything to slow down until I could get there were answered. I sat in the chair a little bummed that I missed all the hard labor photos, but laughed as Anthony and Tiffany bickered back and forth about their grocery lists. A little while later, she put her phone to her side and said "Okay, Jaxton. I finished the grocery order. You can come out now."
We chatted back and forth for a while, where I learned that Jaxon was a rainbow baby. My heart swelled in my chest as I felt instantly more determined to capture the raw emotions that accompanied meeting this sweet miracle. Suddenly, I noticed the conversation had slowed. I looked over at Tiffany and saw her in obvious discomfort. "Page the nurse. The pressure is getting intense." Then I realized she was in what I've learned to recognize as transition labor, AKA best labor shots (sorry Tiffany.) A few position changes and a rapid 30 minutes later, the doctor came in. After one last check from him, I think Tiffany pushed twice before Jaxton was out. I mean, it was the quickest birth I've ever witnessed. I didn't even have time to adjust any settings. But I guess Tiffany was grateful for that.
An angry cry filled the room as Jaxton let us know immediately that even though he was tiny and perfect, his lungs were at full capacity and ready to be utilized. MCH is a well oiled machine and had him cleaned up and back in his Mama's arms only minutes later. I stayed in my corner as I watched the tears flow from Tiffany. A sweet tenderness filled the room as I realized that while she was so elated and happy to meet Jaxton, she was also grieving the losses of sweet Faith and precious Hudson. And that's when I felt overwhelmed by her strength. To hold this sweet boy in her arms and still long so deeply for Faith and Hudson. Knowing that her family was both complete and forever incomplete. To look in her husbands eyes and cry. To see him hold her hand and kiss her head. I was so honored to witness it. And that's the thing about rainbow babies, guys. They don't replace what you've lost. You don't just forget about the other losses because another baby is in your arms now. I urge and implore you to prayerfully consider the way that you respond to a mother who finds herself pregnant after a miscarriage. Let's absolutely celebrate this precious new life with every ounce of our being, but also be aware of the other little life she's continually remembering and longing for. And that's what I loved about Tiffany. She kissed her baby and wept openly. She told him she loved him more than I can count. She counted his fingers and his toes. She soaked up every single detail of him as quickly as she could, but still honored Faith and Hudson in the process. It stirred every emotion in my soul.
Tiffany, you're one of the strongest women I've had the honor of capturing. Thank you for sharing your story gracefully and openly. Jaxton is perfect and I'll remember the details of this birth for the rest of my life. Congratulations!
***Oh, and as you can probably guess. I'm totally doing this again. And again. and again. and again. I am booking 2018 births! Please email or contact me on facebook if you're interested!***
